These Days...

Tonight in Church our Bible class started studying Song of Solomon, one of the most beautiful and poetic books in the Bible. The teacher mentioned that it speaks on emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. I leaned over and told Mr. Adventure that I thought we should read the book together to strengthen our spiritual intimacy. 


Then he tells me that we should work on our emotional intimacy as well. That's when I stepped back for a  second and said, "what?" He whispered to me that he's been feeling really distant lately and that he doesn't always feel like he can talk to me. Now, I'm so worried about what he's going to say that I haven't brought it up again since we've been home. 


I'm afraid to hear how I criticize too much and how negative I am. I already know that it's true, but I've been trying to work on it and I thought I was making progress. Maybe he's just so used to the way I have been that he isn't quite seeing the better person I'm trying to become. 


This is a quote I found to be quite true for myself:


‎"It was great surprise to me when I discovered that most of the ugliness that I saw in others was but a reflection of my own nature."


I realized that the attributes in others that I find to be the most irritating are often the ones I hate in myself. I find myself tearing others down in an effort to make myself seem prettier, smarter, more clever. I don't say anything completely nasty; I say things like "She would be pretty if she had a smaller nose" or "The only reason she gets what she wants is because she's pretty." The result though backfires a bit. Instead of making me seem better, I think it just makes me look petty and a bit like a bully. 


I'm now trying to pick out something good in everyone instead. I don't want to keep cutting people and other things down so I'm hoping now to do the opposite.


Wow, that turned out to be something completely different than I intended but it felt very good to get it out.


Prayers for Positive Thinking and Happy Wed-Ding!!!!